Almost 40 years ago, I met a wonderful lady in college. Neither of us were Christians, but a few dates into our relationship, she explained, “Dating is fun, but it is not casual. The purpose is to determine who may be your spouse,” and then added, “The goal for us is to know if you are committed to the other.”
Though I enjoyed time with this nursing student, her sense of purpose and commitment was completely foreign to me. As we continued dating, Jesus called us to follow Him, and together we committed our lives to Him, and to each other to embark on a lifelong journey of growing in Christlikeness.
In the 21 instances where the Gospels record Jesus calling people to follow Him, He never called someone to a casual and convenient relationship. Instead, the first readers of the Gospels would understand His call was a rabbinical invitation to a purposeful, lifelong, and committed relationship as His disciple. That relationship can be described with four adjectives which help us understand how discipleship applies to us today.
Relational
Even a simple reading of the four Gospels shows that Jesus not only called His disciples to Himself but also called them into the family of God. He invited them to share meals, travel, pray, and do life together. With such a deep sense of community, it is no surprise that, just hours before the cross, Jesus emphasized that love for one another would be the defining mark of His disciples (John 13:35). Continuing the conversation, He revealed the depth of their relationship by calling them His friends because He had given them all He received from the Father (John 15:15).
In my early days as a Christian, a friend would call every Sunday morning and ask if I needed a ride to church. As I began my career as a photojournalist, a sage in the industry helped me navigate being a new husband, new father, and new Christian with prayer and Bible studies. Later, the leader of our men’s Bible study helped me lead my first men’s Bible study. Years later, as a church planter, my pastor would mentor me over endless cups of coffee. Though we loved to talk and strategize about church issues, his first concern was always my following Christ and how my family was following Christ.
At the time, I did not recognize these relationships as formal discipleship. However, looking back, I see how each interaction — whether through shared meals, phone calls, or encouragement — was a form of purposeful discipleship, helping me and others grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Now I realize each of those relationships, and many others, profoundly impacted my marriage, being a father, career path, and eventual call into vocational ministry. Through their examples, I learned to purposely help both new and mature Christians grow in the grace and knowledge of their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That purposefulness was seldom through structured discipleship programs, but in phone calls to check in, endless cups of coffee, meals in our homes, and words of encouragement as they took steps of faith.
Instructional
Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, recorded in Chapters 5 to 7 of Matthew’s Gospel, is likely His most well-known instruction. It is rich with both direct quotes and subtle references to Old Testament Scripture, which makes it a great example of using God’s Word as the source of instruction. While crowds gathered for the sermon, Matthew 5:1 is clear that the Scriptural instruction was specifically intended for His disciples.
Whether we call it discipleship, spiritual formation, or Christian maturity, the goal remains the same: to intentionally grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus alongside others. Simply put, it is about allowing God’s Word to shape our lives with the holiness of Jesus.
I am honored to pastor Shoreline Calvary where we encourage all people to grow in Christlikeness through Scriptural instruction and model that instruction in our School of Discipleship. The School of Discipleship is a series of modules taught in small group settings which allow for the equipping, empowering, and enriching of one another to intentionally grow in Christlikeness. As the school goes on, not only is each disciple encouraged to identify who they are being discipled by, but also who they are discipling to grow in Christlikeness.
Missional
The third adjective to describe discipleship is missional. It is a word meaning to live intentionally as a disciple of Jesus in your context, embodying the love of Jesus, and sharing His message. It is effectively doing the instruction of Jesus to His first disciples to, “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20).
The instruction of Jesus was for His disciples to go and make disciples who will go and make disciples. Then repeat. The idea is to live this out in employment, educational, recreational, and neighbor settings. This tells us both being a disciple and making disciples are not optional to Christians, but are instructional words to all who follow Christ. Healthy churches will make disciples who make disciples and repeat.
Transformational
It would be easy to complete this article with a list of many of the excellent discipleship tools available, many excellent spiritual disciplines, and many excellent books to read. My concern is those lists tend to place the “how” of discipleship before the “who” and the “why” of discipleship. True discipleship begins with Jesus transforming our lives by cultivating a passion in us to grow in His likeness and help others do the same. This transformation shapes not only individuals but entire communities as God’s Word is taught, modeled, and applied for His glory
That transformation will not only lead us to grow individually, but also to create environments where Scripture is taught, modeled, and applied within a community. Not only we, but those around us, then begin to allow God’s word to shape us with the holiness of our Savior.
A life transformed by the gospel of Jesus will never be a life satisfied with a casual and convenient relationship with Jesus. Instead, the goodness of Jesus will draw us and those we disciple into purposeful, lifelong, and committed relationships as followers of Christ.
